One of Those Days
by MaxRideObsessed
Summary: Sam and Christopher have been wandering the castle all day trying to find a place to shag, but between annoying roommates, occupied lavatories, Peeves, and crazy stalkers, it doesn't look like they'll get the chance. Just one of those days? 2nd gen, slash


**So this was the product of a crazed Gmail chat that started with a discussion on how Blaise/Draco fails. And ended with, well, this. With two characters that we made up? Ftw? **

**We being me and iluvzuzu. Who is awesome. Review?**

"Hit the _bloody _bludger at him!" screamed Shelby Owens, nearly falling off her broom in an attempt to smack Christopher in the face.

"Sorry!" he yelled back. "I didn't _notice _he had the quaffle!"

Shelby laughed derisively and called a time out. The team huddled in the middle of the pitch while she proceeded to glare at him. "_That's _because you were staring at his _arse _instead of his arms! Is it too much to ask that we all play some decent Quidditich?"

"I can't hit him with the bludger, Shelby," Christopher protested.

She looked positively murderous. "You are _so _lucky we had nobody else try out for beater."

"Hit the damn bludger," Sam suddenly protested from behind him. "If you do somehow miraculously manage to smash my face in - which I _doubt _- Madame Pomfrey will fix it just fine."

"You heard him!" she yelled. "And you bloody well will smash his face in, are you listening?"

"But I like his face the way it _is,_" Christopher nearly whined, James cracking up to his left. Christopher would have kicked him in the face if it wouldn't have made him fall off his broom.

Sam nudged him in the shoulder. "It's just a game, Christopher. I promise I won't hold it against you in bed if you smash my face in on the pitch."

And with that he flew back over to where the Ravenclaw team was gathered. James made kissy faces at Christopher as they flew back into their positions, earning him a scowl.

As it turned out, no matter how many times Christopher sucked it up and tried to smash his boyfriend's face in, he couldn't help them regain the many points they had lost during the majority of the match. All of Gryffindor was probably fuming at him, but somehow he didn't mind much. He'd only tried out for the team because James had bothered him incessantly about it anyway.

After showers, Sam was waiting for him outside the Gryffindor changing rooms. "Aren't you supposed to be off celebrating?" Christopher asked.

Sam shrugged, shaking his wet hair. "I decided I liked you better." He gave Christopher a small, shy grin.

Christopher smiled back, stepping up to Sam and kissing him. "Thanks." Sam responded enthusiastically, slipping his tongue into the taller boy's mouth. Christopher tugged Sam's face even closer by threading fingers through his shaggy hair.

"Congratulations," Christopher whispered, and Sam grinned against his lips, pulling back slightly to let out a little laugh.

"Thanks. It's mostly thanks to you, though. If you'd been trying, I wouldn't have made half those shots."

"Lies," Christopher retorted. "You're perfectly talented without my... help."

Sam laughed and kissed him again, nipping at his lips. "See?" Christopher argued. "Isn't this more fun than sitting in the hospital wing, waiting for your bones to grow back?"

"Yeah, yeah."

Christopher somehow found that the only thing between him and the nearest wall was his boyfriend, which was a situation that he would normally not object to except that there were catcalls coming from various other students in the populated area.

Sam's breathing was heavy against Christopher's face, his hips grinding and bothering Christopher to no end. "Calm down, love," he murmured. "There's people watching."

"Then let's go somewhere where people _aren't _watching," Sam argued.

Sam's hips were driving him insane, so it wasn't like Christopher was going to disagree. "Your dormitory or mine?" he panted.

"Erm... er..." Sam muttered as he tried to collect himself, smoothing his hair down as he dislodged himself from between Christopher and the wall. "Mine?"

"Yeah, sure. Should I ask James for his cloak? Actually, I already took it from him earlier because he wanted to go down into the kitchens, so... shall we?"

"God yes," Sam said, and they walked back into the castle, throwing the cloak over Christopher as they went.

As all the Ravenclaws were celebrating, it wasn't difficult to sneak Christopher into the common room and up the stairs. Sam practically jumped on Christopher as they closed the door behind them, apparently getting too lost in Christopher's lips.

Christopher pushed Sam onto Sam's bed, straddling him and making it altogether difficult to think.

"Um... having fun snogging the air there, mate?" asked a voice from the bed in the corner, causing Sam to shoot upwards, banging his head against the headboard and knocking Christopher off of him.

"It wasn't the air!" Sam protested, the same time that Christopher shouted, "No, mate, it's just me!"

Richard, one of the boys who shared Sam's dormitory, eyed them with mild disgust. "Really, Sam? If you don't mind, I'd rather not have two boys shagging where I sleep."

"Hey!" Christopher shouted. "I just won your house the Quidditch match! You should be _thanking _me!"

Richard just rolled his eyes, so they both gave it up as a lost cause. Christopher threw the stolen cloak on again as they departed, leaving Richard with a rude hand gesture that soon became invisible also. "What an absolute _prick,_" Christopher mumbled as they shoved their way back through the partying Ravenclaws.

"Yeah, well, you can't pick them," Sam said.

Finally out of the stupid Ravenclaw common room, Christopher threw the cloak off and grabbed Sam's hand. "Okay," he said, "Gryffindor it is."

He was still rather sexually frustrated, and they both knew it was not a good thing for him to be sexually frustrated.

But when they finally made it up through the stairways, past the portrait hole and into the room, there were already sex noises coming from inside. "Oh no," Christopher moaned. "Not _now, _James."

"Oi! Potter!" he yelled, pounding on the door. "How long are you going to be?"

The noises stopped for a moment. "Erm... a while? Yeah, I'll be a while!" he shouted back.

Mumbling angrily under his breath, Christopher pulled invisible Sam back out, not caring that the Fat Lady was screeching at him for bringing his boyfriend inside. "He thinks _just _because his father is famous he can go shagging girls whenever he fucking well pleases..."

"Well, isn't that what _you're _doing?" Sam argued innocently, shrugging the invisibility cloak off and following angry Christopher down the stairs.

"You're bloody well not a _girl, _Sam."

"So if James Potter was shagging blokes it would be okay?"

"Shut up. Now we have to find somewhere else to go." He pulled Sam to him much too publicly.

"Okay, okay," Sam agreed. "But _where?_"

"Does it _matter_?"

"No, not really."

The search for anywhere empty of people began, but became exceedingly difficult because apparently everyone in the bloody castle wanted to congratulate Sam on his goal scoring.

"Oh, come on!" Christopher shouted at some first years. "We're _trying _to shag and we can't do it if everyone in the world wants to stop us!"

Sam glared as they ran away, frightened. "Calm down. Look, here's an empty corridor. Nobody around, now kiss me."

"Alright then." And he did.

Sam pulled down on Christopher's tie and smiled, snogging him ferociously just as a cackle was heard overhead. Someone, or rather, Peeves, blew a raspberry too near to their faces and shouted, "Gaaay!"

"Really?" Christopher shouted back. "That's the best you can come up with? Gay? I thought you were supposed to be creative!"

In response, Peeves just cackled again, blew another raspberry, and called them all variations of homosexual that he could possibly think of. "Okay, okay, we're going!" Christopher yelled, dragging Sam by the hand as fast as he could. "But just so you know, I am very sexually frustrated!"

"Where're we going?" Sam whined from behind him in a very Sam-like manner. "It's almost dinner and I'm _hungry_."

"Don't you want to shag me?" he asked in a very blunt manner, touching Sam somewhere that really should not be touched in public beneath his robes.

"I do, I do!" Sam said, laughing despite himself. "But seriously, where are we going?"

"Well, James told me about this one classroom..."

"Do you have to listen to _everything _James says?" Sam argued. He rather did not like Christopher mentioning his friend every five seconds when he was _supposed _to be shagging his boyfriend.

They were definitely getting their exercise for the night, Christopher figured. Finally, he pushed open the door to the classroom, and thank heavens it was empty.

Christopher seated Sam on the desk and opened Sam's legs forcefully with his knee as he slipped his tongue back into the Ravenclaw's mouth.

Just as a really elderly professor decided to enter the classroom. Christopher didn't notice, but Sam suddenly went stock still and it wasn't hard to figure out that something had gone terribly wrong.

Chris turned around. "Um, hello, Professor Casca. Nice day today, isn't it? How about that Quidditch match?"

Sam kicked him, red face betraying his embarrassment. "We're just... going to go?"

"I think that would be best," Professor Casca said. "Neither of us have to mention this again."

"No, Professor, thank you Professor," Sam mumbled, mortified, as Christopher once again dragged him out the doorway.

"See you in arithmancy!" Christopher called. "Okay," he told Sam once they were out of earshot. "That did not work. New plan."

"Library?" Sam suggested, sighing as they passed the Great Hall, where everyone else was eating.

"Only _you _would suggest the library," Christopher said, rolling his eyes. Then he actually thought about it. "Hm. The library. Alright then, let's go."

"Stop _dragging _me," Sam whined. "I can bloody well walk myself."

"Yeah, okay," Christopher said, but he didn't let go of Sam's hand. Thankfully, the library wasn't too far, and they made it to the back without any more issues, mostly because most everyone else was eating their dinner.

Christopher shoved Sam against a bookshelf - he liked shoving Sam into things and snogging him, and Sam never exactly complained.

Sam tugged on Christopher's tie again, urging him closer as Christopher nudged his legs open (again), and made a noise of contentment. Sam broke away momentarily, looked around, then went back to kissing Christopher, who rolled his eyes but let it go.

When it happened the third time, though, he was fed up. "Honestly, love!" he shout-whispered, "It's not as if there's anyone in here!"

"Yeah," Sam whispered back, "but there _could _be! We're in here, aren't we? And besides, it's the _library! _I do _homework _in here!"

"And now you're going to do _me _in here!"

"Shhhh!"

"Oh, fuck it," Christopher said dejectedly, motioning for Sam to follow him outside. "It was _your _idea. We might as well just go eat dinner."

Sam trailed behind him through the labyrinth of stacks and out the door, ignoring looks from the librarian. "No, Chris, come on. We'll find _somewhere. _Just not in the _library._"

How was it that Sam was the one convincing Christopher now? Sam kissed him very persuasively. "Owlry?"

"Really?" Christopher asked, raising his eyebrows. "Think of the _bird droppings_. And the owl eyes staring you down while you take off my pants."

Sam raised his hands defensively. "Okay, okay! Where, then?"

Christopher sighed. "I don't _know._"

Sam shuffled his feet and looked at the ground. "We could always ask Alice for the password to the prefect's bathroom."

"Are you mad?" Christopher asked. "She'd just follow us in there!"

"Come on, it's worth a shot," Sam pleaded. "We could always just paralyze her afterwards if we needed to! She wouldn't mind too much. Anything for good gay sex."

"Alright," Christopher agreed, waiting with his hands in his pockets as Sam ran into the Great Hall for all of five minutes.

"Got it!" he yelled, running back out, and Christopher smiled at him.

"What's the password?" he asked as Sam led the way up to the bathroom on the fifth floor that Christopher had fantasized about but never seen.

"Like I'm telling _you_," he said, rolling his eyes. "Nobody in their right mind would ever trust _you _with - Augh!" he yelled as his foot fell through the vanishing step.

Christopher laughed as Sam struggled, but quickly moved to help him. "Gotta be careful with that one," he smirked.

"Shut it," Sam frowned, trying to limp up the last few steps. Christopher beat him there and kissed him reassuringly.

"Bathtub should help with that, shouldn't it?"

Sam blushed.

When they arrived at the fifth floor entrance, Sam whispered the password (to Christopher's annoyance). The door opened, and they started to walk in... and stopped in their tracks.

They quickly exited the bathroom.

"Was that...?" Sam started.

"That was..."

They both peeked their heads back in, then out again.

"So that was definitely Scorpius Malfoy," Christopher stated, his mind completely blown.

"And... a _guy_," added Sam unnecessarily.

They exchanged glances, then quickly turned in the opposite direction.

"He's not at all bad looking with his clothes off," Christopher shrugged. "And, you know, when his face isn't all scowly like normal."

Sam punched him in the arm. "Well I'm not trying to shag _him, _am I?" Christopher argued, smiling.

"Speaking of which. Where to now?"

Christopher shrugged again. "Dunno. Outside somewhere?"

Sam wrinkled his nose. "But it's going to get dark."

"Then let's go to a greenhouse," Christopher suggested. "They're lit, aren't they?"

Sam allowed himself to be dragged (he was _always _dragged) to the main doors, but he still argued. "It's going to be _cold_, too."

They ran across the dark grass like children, hand in hand, until they decided upon greenhouse four. Sam, being the brilliant Ravenclaw he was, unlocked the door, and they ran to the far back before settling down beside a red potted plant, making sure to avoid anything that could potentially eat them.

When they were once more snogging good and proper, Christopher suddenly pulled away and sneezed.

"What?" Sam whined.

Christopher looked offended. "Excuse me for being polite. Would you rather it have been your face?" He sneezed again.

"Are you getting sick?" Sam asked, seeming smug. "I _told _you it was cold outside."

"It's not the _cold_," Christopher said. "I'm fine. Now kiss me."

Sam went to tug on his tie, but Christopher stopped him again.

"What _now?"_

"I'm going to sneeze again, hold on a moment."

This was getting ridiculous. "Merlin, Chris, let's just go back inside, I don't want you _dying _or anything."

"I don't under_stand_," Christopher said, sneezing again. "Why does life hate me so much?"

Sam shrugged. "If you're not sick, you're probably allergic to something in here. Only _you, _Chris. Only _today. _We can't shag if you're going to be sneezing on me the whole time!"

Christopher gave a resound sigh, getting up and sniffling. "This is bloody fucking _ridiculous!_"

"Yeah, yeah," Sam agreed, taking his hand once again and hurrying him out as his apparent allergy got worse. "Let's just get you out of here and then we can -"

"Hold on," Christopher said, bent over with his eyes still watering. "James did tell me about that one tree... you... push something with a stick... or something."

"You mean _that _tree?" Sam motioned toward the giant, scary one with wildly flailing limbs. "Do _you _want to poke it with a stick?"

"Er, no?"

"That's what I thought," Sam said. "Okay, are we out of options? Has _James _told you about anywhere _else _I should know about?"

"What's with the attitude?" Christopher countered, slowly following Sam back up the steps. "You're always..."

"I'm always what? Chris?"

"Sorry, thought I was going to sneeze. I'm good. You're always getting all pissy whenever I mention him."

"Well, that's because you mention him all the bloody time!"

Christopher shrugged. "Well he's sort of my best mate, Sammy, I don't know what you want me to do about that. Besides, he's shagging a girl, isn't he?"

Sam stopped in his tracks. "So are you saying that if he wasn't shagging girls you'd be going after _him_?"

Christopher looked like he was desperately restraining himself from rolling his eyes. "Of _course _not."

It was getting dark outside, so they both squinted in the light of the Entry Hall.

Sam still looked rather angry, so Christopher explained further. "_You're _the only one I want to be with, Sam. Shagging James would be like shagging a little brother or something, it's just _wrong_, and I wouldn't want to. Besides, we both know I don't like redheads."

Sam looked embarrassed as Christopher kissed him. "Yeah, I know," he finally said. "I just want to shag already, is that so wrong?"

"No," he said. "No, it most definitely is not. Here, I have one more idea."

He and Sam went up seven staircases, their feet heavy by this point what with trudging through the whole castle. Christopher finally brought them to a stop by a large tapestry and a rather odd looking statue.

"What is _this_?" Sam asked. "I thought we decided random empty corridors were _not _a good idea?"

"Well, I was talking to J- someone, and this person told me that if I just walk by the tapestry three times and wish for a specific type of room, it'll give it to me. We could have a whole fuckpad all to ourselves."

Honestly, the thought of any bed at all appealed at this point, so Sam went along with it, tapping his foot anxiously as his boyfriend paced like an absolute idiot in the hallway. "You look ridiculous," he pointed out.

"_Sammmy!" _Christopher and Sam both turned at a screech from down the hall. "I've been looking for you _everywhere!" _

Oh, God. She'd been stalking Sam since she'd started at Hogwarts three years ago and he was a third year. She was _always _looking for him everywhere, and hated Christopher with a burning passion.

"Oh. You're with _Masterson_. What are you two doing over here?"

Christopher abandoned his pacing in front of the wall to stand in front of Sam. "We're _trying _to find a place to shag, if you don't mind."

Marie AKA the Devil sneered. "In fact, I _do _mind. _Expelliarmus!_"

Christopher's wand, which he had just drawn from his robes, went soaring. He growled and started for her, but she disarmed Sam too, and swiftly sent a hex at Christopher. He fell to the ground and began grasping at his throat, writhing and unable to breathe. A wave of rage washed over Sam at the sight of this, and his automatic response was to make for the crazy bitch and tear her head off. But he controlled himself and instead looked upon her with a new light in his eyes.

"You know, Marie," he said, edging closer to her. "I've never noticed how.... pretty.... you look in this light. The way you just... hexed my boyfriend... well it kind of... turned me on."

"Really?" the girl said shakily, her eyes glowing.

"'Course not, psycho bitch," Sam said, snatching her wand and shoving her to the ground. He dashed to collect his own wand, and Christopher's, before rushing to the Gryffindor and reversing the hex. Christopher gasped and coughed for a moment as he leaned into Sam, who helped him up. "You okay, love?"

"Fantastic," Christopher sputtered.

"You won't be for long!" Marie shouted from her awkward position on the floor.

"I am going to hex your ugly face off, little girl, if you don't lay off!" Christopher roared at her.

"Leave it, Chris," Sam said, tugging his boyfriend away and tossing the girl her wand. "Come on. We've more important things to do."

"But that was our last idea!" Christopher complained as the pair began walking back down the corridor, ignoring Marie's loud threats.

"We'll find something. We always do." Sam smiled and kissed Christopher's lips softly.

"Yeah, but now I'm tired."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Are you _serious?_"

"Well, we've been traipsing about all day without rest, after I completely botched an entire bloody Quidditch match... and then I get asphyxiated by your crazy would-be girlfriend... I mean, I think I'm allowed to be tired, yeah?"

"Yeah, but..." Sam looked down at the floor, rather depressed. "I really wanted to... you know..."

"Me too!" Christopher said, pulling Sam to him and resting his head on top of Sam's light brown hair. "But..."

"Yeah, yeah, I know."

Suddenly they hear a voice coming from nowhere. "I know it is rude to interrupt, but I'm afraid you must forgive me."

They jumped apart, looking frantically around before realizing the voice was coming from a painting. Of course.

"Dumbledore? Sir?" Christopher, for once, was caught off guard, and didn't seem to know what the portrait of the old headmaster wanted with him.

"There is nothing like young love, is there, boys?"

"Er, no... sir," Christopher stammered. Sam didn't seem to be able to say anything at all.

"Might I make a suggestion?" Dumbledore asked politely. "I've found in all my years at Hogwarts that the view from the Astronomy Tower is particularly nice at this time of the evening."

"Oh!" Christopher said. "Thank you! Sir."

Dumbledore chuckled. "It's no inconvenience. But make sure you two are back by curfew."

He gave a quick wink, then walked out of the frame.

They stared at the empty picture for a moment. Sam seemed to gather himself and shouted "Good evening, Sir!", but Christopher just laughed at him, and, seemingly having regained his energy, _dragged _Sam up to the Astronomy Tower.

They both laughed as they reached the top of the stone steps, finally alone. The view of the sky was incredible from where they stood, leaning against one another.

"So..." Sam said, turning to Christopher.

"So..." Christopher said back, fingers playing with Sam's hair.

They kissed for a long time, slowly and without thinking about all the other annoying distractions that had followed them all day.

Eventually, though, they broke apart, legs aching. Sam pulled Christopher to the ground and they sat, looking at the stars. Christopher slung an arm around his boyfriend, and Sam rested his head on Christopher's shoulder.

"Shouldn't we be shagging?" he asked softly.

Christopher laid his head against Sam's. "I don't have the energy, do you?"

"No, not really. Besides, this is nice."

"Yeah."

"But I love you," Sam said. "Even though we're not shagging tonight."

Christopher laughed, kissing the top of Sam's head. "I love you too."

"And we can shag tomorrow, yeah?"

"Yes, please."

And they sat, with Christopher half falling asleep while Sam named the constellations for him. And that was perfectly alright with them.

THE END.


End file.
